Monday, October 22, 2012

Side by Side, Deep Sleep, Mastermind: World Conqueror

This entry has been sitting in backlog for, like, two weeks! Go figure. Perhaps I was subconsciously saving one of the best horror-themed browser games for Halloween, yet laziness won out.

Side by Side

Mammoths need love too, and these two lovely beasts are trying SO HARD to reach one another's world. I'm not sure what THAT'S all about, but it's up to you to unite them through a series of puzzles. The controls are a bit tricky at first, and the map screen looks a liiiiiittle cluttered, but overall I think it's worth playing.

Deep Sleep

You're asleep. You've got to wake up. WAKE UP. Deep Sleep is a genuinely creepy game, with crazy sounds, a bizarre atmosphere that would make most survival horror games proud, and an... interesting... story. A point-and-click adventure that'll probably freak you out, even if it's just a little bit. Play it at night, with the sound cranked, for maximum potency. (Damn, shoulda saved this for Halloween.)

Mastermind: World Conqueror

You are MASTERMIND. You must rule the WORLD. Resource management and static tower defense, that's World Conqueror. This is a deep, robust game that's likely to last a hell of a lot longer than your average browser experience, and more than fun enough to warrant the time spent. Huzzah for sacrificing patsies and robbing gas stations!

All done! Next on Browser Rousers: who knows, I have no more backlogged posts.

Friday, October 19, 2012

AirScape, Attacher, Spacemen vs Monster



Oh noes! The Earth has been flipped upside down and inside out and all sortsa crazy nonsense by robots! Only one creature can set things right, and that's the lowly dwarf octopus. Strap on a breathing helmet and wriggle through dozens of levels full of fiendish traps, defying gravity at every corner. AirScape is quite fun, though it's not recommended for anyone who gets queasy. I didn't get too far into the second world before I had to stop, my head swirling as much as the game itself.


You are what appears to be a sentient box. What is your purpose in life? Where are you going? What will you be when you get there? Attacher asks a lot of kiiiiinda pretentious questions to its player, though more often than not they simultaneously serve a practical purpose in solving the game's many puzzles - and they're coupled with a really neat physics engine that allows you to cling to other boxes and move around. Very unique, very odd, very... well, play it and you'll see.

Spacemen vs Monster

Your fellow spacemen have been captured by monsters! Kill the monsters! Rescue the spacemen! Sounds like something out of a kid's book, and it would be if you weren't popping off aliens with a gun. Spacemen vs Monsters plays a bit like Worms and Scorched Earth in that you need to carefully aim your shots from a (usually) stationary position to hit your targets with a limited array of weapons. A fun puzzler, if a bit cryptic - some of the weapons could use names, as you occasionally forget what they do until you use it.

Weekend! Have fun rousing your browser, or whatever!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Rymden, Shadow Tag, Just A Cell

Today's three games are so wildly different from one another that the theme is difference. Yes, that's it. Difference.


Perhaps the strangest space shooter I've ever played, Rymden is unabashedly Swedish. Pilot your crazy ship through increasingly difficult waves of space enemies, firing off special weapons and beating down bosses as you go. The game is littered with references to Sweden throughout, and, to people from North America (hi!), is probably impenetrably bizarre. Fun bizarre, but bizarre. A bit repetitive, but, frankly, that's what the creator was going for. Mission accomplished.

Shadow Tag

The simple act of going from your house to your car should not be anywhere as creepy as this. Shadow Tag has you navigating hedge mazes in the night, pursued by weird little children who 'only want to play with you'. Your only ally is your flashlight, and even it will go out after a while. Though not out-and-out scary, Shadow Tag IS quite unnerving - you're not fast, the children are annoyingly good at following you through the maze, and they'll talk to you while they hunt. Fuuuuuucked uuuuuuup. (And fantastic.)

Just A Cell

Eat. Evolve. Survive. Rhyme. These four things are important to a successful game of Just A Cell. Starting off as a single-cell organism you eat other creatures and steadily build your way up to the top of the food chain. A fun game, but two pieces of advice: a.) Stay away from the walls, you'll get killed by bigger creatures if you sit there blindly; and b.) DO NOT PLAY THIS IF YOU SUFFER FROM EPILEPSY. Seriously. There are a lot of flashing colours when you om another creature, especially in the later levels.

Next up: an entry I've been saving for close to two weeks, now, because I keep finding other games I want to review. Until then!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Cloud Wars, Funkin' Defense, Echo Bullet

Today's Browser Rousers intake is somewhat cutesy, the third one aside - and even it can run the adorable gamut if your tastes are odd.

Cloud Wars

Ever wonder why clouds move around so much? It's simple - they're colour-coded in ways we cannot perceive from the ground, and that pisses them off. Wars happen when skin colours are different, y'know. Cloud Wars is all about controlling the most clouds, and you control them by sending smaller clouds out to take over enemy cumuli, rather like parasites. It's a simple game, perhaps not as nice as other games in the same genre, but I do like the upgrade system.

Funkin' Defense

The vile Gorliks seek to conquer your forest. YOUR FOREST. Put them down for good with a variety of towers, some items, and the power of funk. Funkin' Defense is kinda neat in that music helps determine the strength of your attacks, and you can change up that strength by changing up the music. There's less variety in that statement than it sounds, but it brings so variety to an otherwise par-for-the-course tower defense game.

Echo Bullet

No upgrades, no super-fancy graphics, no sprawling levels, just good old fashioned one-on-one bullet hell action. Your primary mission here is to avoid the countless waves of incoming enemy fire while firing back non-stop. This is an excellent game for practicing your bullet hell techniques. Players who get easily confused should probably look elsewhere.

And now, I hunger for food. I will continue to feed until Wednesday, when next we meet again. Ciao!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Wilt: Exordium, Medieval Shark, Monster Saga

Introduction? Nay. Unnecessary. Off we go!

Wilt: Exordium

Jon, your daughter is in trouble. (Or is she your daughter?) Save her in a nightmarish landscape... or don't. Who knows exactly what's happening in this little game, as it's supposedly part of a larger adventure to come later in 2012. I enjoyed the experience overall, short though it may have been - but the programmers reeeeeeeally need to work on the controls. Precision jumping is a pain in the ass in Wilt.




I don't feel that any of these games need an explanation. It's more of the same silly, murderous fun. This time with a jester's hat.

Monster Saga

You are a child, blasted into a strange land full of monsters and dominated by a tyrant. Free the kingdom with your own band of mighty warriors! Or something!

I dunno. Monster Saga's got rather an oddly generic story. The visuals compensate for the narrative, however, and the game play is decently fun. Train monsters and send them out to battle other monsters. It's unfortunate that you have nooooo say at all in how the battles turn out once they've started, but it's not difficult to blaze through most of them with sufficient prep. A decent game, albeit glitchy and easy.

Prediction: next week will feature more Halloween games. I can sense this happening, somehow.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Hunt of HORROR, REW 2, FrankenSplit

Today's Browser Rousers features a smattering of moe Halloweeny games. We're getting close to that magical day, ladies 'n gents.

Hunt of Horror

A Where's Waldo? of the cinematic horror scene. Pretty basic, but the mural's fun to look at and there are a TON of references. I pride myself on having seen a lot of horror movies, and I didn't catch a lot of the references. Go fig.


Sequel to another great game that I've reviewed, REW 2 is a Memento-esque foray into the world of storytelling in that it goes through the plot backwards. Figure out what's happening while journeying through a point-and-click landscape. It's a really neat concept, as you're often left wondering how the landscape got to be the way it is. I didn't find REW 2's story to be quite as neat as REW's, but it's still a good game.


Frankenstein's monster always wanted a friend, and now he's got one - more or less a clone - in this unusual platform-puzzler. Controlling two monsters, you must guide your compatriots to exits with only mouse clicks to make them jump. No other control is needed. A challenging game, as you need to keep track of two restless wanderers at the same time. You'll really appreciate being able to guide your own characters after playing FrankenSplit.

That's all for now. Friday ho!

Monday, October 8, 2012

A Merry Thanksgiving to you all!

Assuming you live in Canada. If not, you will have to wait. Either way, day off. See y'all Wednesday.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Into Space 2, Demon Shift, Super Mario Bros. Crossover 2.0

As Halloween draws steadily closer and the leaves begin to change colour, we play three games that are not at all thematically appropriate. Except maybe Demon Shift. Yeah.

Into Space 2

I played the original Into Space a while ago (though apparently never reviewed it? Go figure), and this new offering isn't much different. Upgrade your battered rocket into a sleek spaceship that can make it all the way to Mars. The game's pretty much the same, though it adds in a lot more upgrades and a bunch of missions to spice up the play. I would probably plow through the whole thing if it didn't slow down so catastrophically much on my computer. Sigh.

Demon Shift

You are demon. Incompetent demon. You try fetch souls for another demon; you fail. Track down souls. Or whatever those jolly green things might be. Demon Shift is a platformer that borders on puzzle: shifting between two planes, one more dangerous than the other, you must collect the green souls from each level until your job is complete. A fun game, overall, and aesthetically pleasing.

Super Mario Bros. Crossover 2.0

I've already reviewed Super Mario Bros. Crossover, but I hadn't realized that it was updated and upgraded. This new version is the same old game, but with new classic characters and more graphical formats. An improvement to an already awesome concept. (Though playing as Bass, above, is WAY too easy.)

Woot! Another week complete. Until next time!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Lost Villa, Hop Bop, Snake Squad

Today's Browser Rousers is proof that I seldom adhere to themes. These games couldn't be more different from each other if they tried. BEHOLD!

Lost Villa

I usually prefer my exploratory puzzle games to feature original backgrounds over semi-jaggy photographs, but Lost Villa is a decent enough game that I'll overlook that this time. The puzzles are fun and inventive without being too difficult, and it doesn't take a disgustingly long time to play. The music is also catchy, though mine cut out without explanation after a while. Too bad.

Hop Bop

Hop. Jump. Shoot. Collect coins. Kill enemies. Run to the goal. This could describe a billion games already on the market, and, admittedly, Hop Bop isn't that much better than a lot of them. Nevertheless, there's a lot to enjoy in this quick, retro shooter, and I had no trouble playing through it twice. (Especially since you get a significant speed boost the second time 'round.)

Snake Squad

Remember Frantic Frigates? Yeah. Snake Squad is juuuuust like it. That may explain why I've lingered over it for the last forty-five minutes, despite totally getting the gist of the game from the get-go. You are captain of a squad of burly army dudes. Kill everything in sight. In SIGHT, you hear me?! Your guys do all the shooting for you in this bullet hell game; you just have to steer them out of harm's way. Die, then upgrade into something more potent. It's a fun formula, if repetitive.

(I can't get my train of guys above six. Sigh.)

All done! Friday!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Desutori, Wicked Rider, Oppa Gangnam Run

Have I given up on writing proper introductions and extroductions? Entirely possible! (I don't even care if extroduction isn't really a word. It showed up in the Urban Dictionary. Legit enough for me.)


A young woman whose village has burned down. A capricious goddess, willing to grant said woman the lives of her friends... at the cost of her own. A trek through horrifying traps to gather crystals. One thousand lives. A whole lotta frustration. Yay Desutori! You need patience to get through this game. Lacking that... don't bother playing.

Wicked Rider

Wicked Rider is a testament to the crazy things good programmers can do with Flash. Just look at those visuals. Then picture 'em in motion... or play the game. Easily as good as an SNES game. The game play gets a little bland after a while, I'll admit, but it's a great play up 'til you get tired of coming in fourth. (Seriously. A bit too hard on the early tracks. You shouldn't HAVE to use nitro to win a race.)

Oppa Gangnam Run

I felt obliged to include this game because it's utter nonsense. PSY running across rooftops - nay, DANCING across rooftops - while chased by Slendy. What in the hell. Really just another Canabalt clone, but it's so silly that I advise giving it at least one play.