Friday, September 28, 2012

Second Wind, Demon Decimator, Jacksmith

Second Wind

Fans of roguelike dungeon exploratory forays will love this sucker. Second Wind is a strange, silly, strategically-difficult game of combat, levelling, and constant descent towards a horrifying destiny. Graphically simple, perhaps, but there's so much stuff jammed into this game that you're likely to play for hours and not find the bottom. Be wary of your HP at all times, as Second Wind is utterly unforgiving.

Demons. What're they good for? Nuthin'. Nuthin' at all, save one thing: utter decimation. Death wants them all DEAD, and that's what you're gonna do. Demon Decimator should instantly remind Pokemon fans of the old days in the ice caverns of the second generation, as that's essentially what this is - a puzzle game based on sliding. Move the demons into lava pits that'll fry their little butts. The graphics are a little bland, but the puzzles are spot-on fun.

In an appropriate end to what seems to be a rather medieval-themed day, we have Jacksmith, a game whose like I have ne'er played. You are Jacksmith, a donkey with expert smithing skills, and you're out to save a princess from her evil wizard captor. You aren't so good with the fighting, though, so your role is to make weapons for OTHER people to use. The assembly process for each weapon is unique, and there's a lot of ground to cover and bits to collect for your weapons. Really neat concept with a cool setting. The art in Jacksmith is great.

That's all! Happy weekends to you lot!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Infectonator 2, WorldBox 2, Endless War 6

Infectonator 2

I've been waiting for an Infectonator sequel for a while, now, and I was more than pleased with the results. Your goal is still the same: eliminate the world with a horrifying zombie virus. The scope of the game has increased dramatically, however, with TONS more levels, a lot of upgrades, much-improved graphics, and a better sense of humour. There's almost no point in playing the original Infectonator anymore, as number two is better in virtually every way.


WorldBox isn't so much a game as it is a simple simulator. You have a world, you can build more of a world. Or take it away. Or other stuff. This is basically a very limited version of a Sim game with few consequences if you lose. It's not that great, but it appears to be a base for something a hell of a lot better, and I look forward to whatever it might create in the future.

Endless War 6

You are tank. You blow shit up. That about does it for Endless War 6, like the previous games. There is OTHER stuff to consider, of course, but it boils down to mashing your opponents. I haven't played the previous games in the series, but I like this one, if for no other reason, for the fact that you get to drive alongside a bunch of other troops. You're part of a coordinated whole, and that's pretty cool.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Tallboy, Cop Crusade, Gravity Duck 2

I'm not feeling intros today, so let's jump right into the action.


You're tall. You're hungry. Your mouth can move along the length of your body. You're Tallboy, and you're a complete freak of nature. Objective: eat as much food as you can while ducking under and jumping over obstacles. This is a weirdass game, lemme tell ya, and that should be reason enough to play.

Cop Crusade

Bad, bad, super-bad men are on the loose and on the highway. You gots to take 'em down in your cop car that admittedly doesn't much look like a cop car. Cop Crusade is an upgradeable birds-eye-view car chase game; go a certain distance and you'll earn money to upgrade your ride. Occasionally blow up other cars with the GIANT CANNON that's apparently hidden in your front bumper. Basic, but it reminds me a little of Spy Hunter, and that ain't never a bad thing none.

Gravity Duck 2

I lack context since I haven't played the first Gravity Duck (yet), but what I understand is this: a Moai statue-type thing has been nabbed and brought to 'the city', and its minion, Gravity Duck, is tasked with bringing it 'delicious golden eggs'.

Sure. Whatever works.

 Gravity Duck is a fun gravity-flippin' game once the plot's out of the way. You have to navigate various perils and change the duck's gravity to reach a golden egg. Do so in 40 levels and you win! It's a decent puzzle game, if a little easy, and should eat up about an hour of your time. Depends how good you are at platforming and puzzling combined.

Finito. Until Wednesday!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Rot Gut, Days of Blood, Dude and Zombies

Ever feel like drawing some blood? You probably shouldn't, not in real life, but that's what video games are for. Playing out those epic fantasies that would get us arrested. Prepare for a triple dose of brutality in today's recommendations!

Woefully few browser games sport a film noir tone, and that may be because the rest were waiting for Rot Gut to show 'em how it's done. Featuring a 1920s prohibition-style story of murder and intrigue, Rot Gut is a hop-and-bop, shoot-em-up style game that brings back fond memories of the NES and SNES. The controls are great, the weapons a lot of fun, and it's just challenging enough to enjoy without tearing your hair out. Also, tiny cigarette being the only source of colour is a great idea.

Days of Blood

Evil cultists need a virgin sacrifice to power their dark magicks, and you're just the knight to make sure that doesn't happen. (Would be nice to see an inversion of this tired trope and have a FEMALE knight rescue a MALE virgin, but, oh well.) Lotsa back and forth killing, here, while you protect the poor woman from stabby cultists. A bit repetitive, and unforgiving in its timing (get it EXACTLY RIGHT each time or you dieeeeee), but still fun.

Dude and Zombies

Today's first two games were pretty damned bloody; seemed only right to make it a triumvirate and play a game about zombies. Your car has broken down in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, and you need to put it back together before the zombie hordes overwhelm you. Blast their heads off with a variety of guns while fixing your car. Good, upgradeable fun, though once you have a fully automatic machine gun of the highest calibre, it's pretty easy.

Next week: perhaps some cuddly games. Yes?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Sunshine, Knightmare Tower, Purple Planet

What's we got today? Aside from a dip into the medieval, mostly outer space fare. First up iiiiiiiis


You are a photon in a universe full of black holes. Make those bastards pay by becoming SUNHIIIIIIINE

Bizarre concept, put into motion in a fantastic way. You orbit around small planetoids and collect motes of sunlight while avoiding black holes. Simple-as-hell premise, more difficult than it initially looks. My only complaint is the music, which, while well-composed and fancy, is poor quality.

Knightmare Tower

Save the princesses! They've been captured! They're in a big, incredibly-impractical tower! Fling your manly knight self to the uppermost limits of the tower, slicing shit on the way! Knightmare Tower is great, upgradeable fun, but you CAN'T PLAY IT ON AN OLDER MACHINE. Or laptops that aren't so great with graphics. Seriously, don't, it'll lag every five seconds. (Hence my crappy position in the screenshot. I'm better on my PC, I swears.)

Purple Planet

Invade an alien's house and mess with his stuff. Sounds like a good plan for an astronaut. Purple Planet's a fun point-and-click adventure that's got a surprising number of challenging, intuitive puzzles and neat visuals. I'd like to see this team do a full-scale puzzle game, reminiscent of the old Castle of Dr. Brain or Myst titles.

I know I promised an extra title today, but I've hit on a revelation: I'm gonna run out of (good) browser games to play if I keep at a four-a-day pace. I think three is a better number. Gives me more time to play each one and sort the good from the bad. Agreed? Agreed. See ya Friday!

Monday, September 17, 2012

bit Dungeon, Spaceship, Farm and Grow

Today's Browser Rousers takes place as I watch I, Robot! The entry has next to nothing to do with that fact, but I thought I'd point it out. Decent movie. Nothing fantastic.

First up: a point-and-click dungeon crawler! Weird combo.

bit Dungeon

You and your wife have been kidnapped and locked in a dungeon. She's presumably helpless (haven't beaten the game yet), you presumably aren't. Save her with a mass of swordplay clicking reminiscent of Legend of Zelda. Interesting concept, though the action can be awkward with the wrong device, and the interface is a little basic. No saving? Boo.


Usually in space shooters you're a human protecting the motherland against aliens. In Spaceship, you're an alien fending off humans. (I think. Story's sparse.) Fun, relatively basic side-scrolling shooter, a little slower-paced than other, similar games, with lotsa pretty backgrounds and funky ships. I love the art style.

Ever created a farm in a video game? Yes? Well, do it again anyway. Farm and Grow dispenses with cutesy graphics and conversations with town folk for pure farming strategy. Labour your days away in this simplistic-looking but surprisingly complex sim. No tutorial, so you'll have to learn as you go.

Alllllll done! Bit busy today, so I only did three. I'll toss an extra one on Wednesday. See ya then!

Friday, September 14, 2012

EsPoir, HUEBRIX, I'd Change The World For You, Kitty Punch

Right! Two in a row, off to a good start... we begin today with a little horror game that reminds me very much of a slew of Capcom titles, mainly because it nicks much of its audio from said games. Yay EsPoir!


Survival horror ain't nothing new to gaming, but I'm not sure that I've ever played one in a retro style before. In comes EsPoir, a side-scrolling escape game where your one goal is to flee from a horrifying abomination. Because it's a survival horror game, EsPoir's background is shrouded in darkness, and you're forced to remember the pitfalls every time you die. Short, difficult, fairly fun - though I'm not sure the Mega Man sound effects fit, y'know?


Puzzler! Easy enough concept. Stretch your coloured bricks across allllllll the white spaces. Each colour can only accomodate so many squares, though, and little special features throughout each stage will complicate your path. Starts out pretty easy, gets damned challenging by the end - I'm stumped at level 24.

I'd Change The World For You

Would you change it for me? Hope so - being stuck in that tiny container would drive me to suicide. Fairly simple platformer: move around a contained maze thing and manipulate the world's shape by pressing switches until you can free your loved one. If you get stuck, hit R to go back in time and change the way you did things. Won't take long to beat, but it's still fun. You may have to play on the designer's website rather than Newgrounds to prevent rampant lag.

Kitty Punch

Just... just play it... I'd have no idea where to begin on describing this fantastic monstrosity...

All done! See ya on Monday, folks.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

We return!

Yep, after months of procrastinating and work on other projects (I swear it's ACTUALLY the latter), I'm back...

... but the format's gonna change. I've got so much stuff going on that I don't have the time for full-on reviews anymore. That's kind of a lie, admittedly, but they eat up time I need to devote to other stuff. I still love playing browser-based games, though... and will do so whether I review 'em or not...

SO HERE'S THE DEAL! Rather than force myself to do reviews I'd rather avoid, I'm gonna turn Browser Rousers into a recommendations website. I play Flash games, I tell you which ones I enjoyed the most. Three times a week - Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I think - I'll post a list of four games I enjoyed, and a brief blurb on why. You play yourselves, you enjoy. Sound good?

Off we go, then, with our first entry!

Unnatural Selection

Another of those glorious Ludum Dare 48 challenge pieces, Unnatural Selection is kind of an RTS. Your little monster controller dude has to create an orb by gathering crystals, and he protects said orb with a horde of obedient monsters that swirl around him. Could use a bit more strategy, but overall a fairly good game, especially since it was made in 48 hours.

Escape from the Very Bad Planet

Why's it so bad? I have no idea! You don't stop to ask these questions! Run for your liiiiiiiiife

Fun side-scrolling shooter game. Collect money while dodging obstacles on your way to the end of a course. Get blown up, buy upgrades, become stronger. Eventually reach the end of the course and escape the Very Bad Planet. Mildly addictive, especially with those flashy retro visuals.

Nemonuri Tower

Climb tower. Avoid buzz saws. Get points. Climb faster. Die! Then start over. Yay! Not much more to say about this one; it's simplistic, but addictive. The control scheme's annoying at first, but you get used to it. I enjoy the jaunty tune in the background more than anything else in this game.

Reign of Centipede

Centipedes? Ruling the world?! I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO. A combination of platform shooting and real-time strategy, here, all dedicated to the destruction of those bastardly insects (though some of them are QUESTIONABLY centipedes at best). Lots of fun, if a bit easy... though I've only played the first level of five, so I'm sure it gets harder.

That's all for today. Back on Friday! I promise!